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Someone once asked me the following question: “In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna says, ‘The yogi who perceives the essential oneness everywhere naturally feels the pleasure or pain of others as their own.’ Is it possible to feel the pain of others without losing one’s peace, even if one is not yet enlightened? For the still-growing yogi, experiencing the suffering of others can be excruciatingly painful. How can we go through these heart-opening experiences without turning away from that pain, be of the most service to others, and not lose our peace?”
My answer was that it is possible, but only when you learn to experience your own pain peacefully. It begins with you. If you are going to suffer for your pain, then you will certainly suffer for others’ pain also. So, if you want to maintain your peace, then maintain it when there is suffering in you or in others. Learn to lovingly embrace pain when it comes rather than being afraid of it, pushing it away, or avoiding others when they are in pain. This needs a little explanation. Sometimes, you can easily think that, “Oh, by seeing others suffering, if I have to maintain my peace, I shouldn’t do anything and I should stay away.” No, that’s not it. You do what is to be done peacefully. I would say learn to suffer the pain peacefully yourself and then you can encourage others to do the same.
How is that possible? How to experience pain, feel the suffering, and still be peaceful? I would say that you can do so and not only feel peaceful, you can even be happy. You can experience the pain, you can suffer for your pain, and still be happy. Yes. And we have a perfect example in what are called “labor pains,” is it not so? It’s a kind of suffering that expectant mothers go through, no doubt. But behind the pain, behind the suffering, the mother-to-be is even excited, she’s happy, “Hey, I’m going to see my baby!” Right? Likewise, every pain has its own reward.
Why do I say that every pain has its own reward? Because through our pain we purge our karma. You can even say, “I’m delivering my karma. Whatever I conceived I have to deliver.” Don’t think you conceive and deliver only babies. We all conceive ideas and we all deliver actions. That’s why the receptacle of karma is called karmashaya. The chitta, the mind, stores all our prior actions and reactions. So the mind conceives and the baby grows inside. Every thought is your baby and one day it gets delivered. So, whatever you conceive, you have to deliver.
If you don’t deliver, you get more problems. So, if we can cultivate this understanding, then when the delivery time comes you can be happy and feel, ‘Ahh, I am purging out my karma. I’m getting freed. I’m becoming lighter.’ When we carry a lot of thoughts, a lot of desires, that brings a lot of karma and we start to feel heavier and heavier and more burdened. Every time we purge something out we become lighter.
In a way, that is what is meant by enlightenment. Yes. You feel light. That will only happen when we really understand the purpose of the pain. Nowadays, I see people wearing t-shirts, ‘No pain, no gain.’ True. So if you think of the gain, would you suffer when the pain comes? No. You begin to appreciate the pain. ‘Yes, I have accumulated a lot of things. I have to purge them out. And without pain, I cannot purge.’ We don’t have to seek out pain, but when it comes, we can accept it peacefully and welcome it. And when that happens in your life, then you will see the same in others’ lives also.
When somebody is in pain you can certainly feel compassion for them, offer your support while remembering, ‘Yes, they are purging it out. I am helping support them to purge it out. I’m only doing my midwife work.’ A midwife comes to deliver the baby. Likewise, when you see somebody in pain, you go help the person to deliver the karma so that they’ll be relieved of the pain. And you have to do it peacefully, compassionately. Instead, if you get pained, or you get disturbed, by seeing the others’ pain, you are in no position to help the other person. That would be as if a doctor seeing a patient fainting, faints themselves! What good is that doctor then? They should retain their composure and then go and do whatever is necessary.
Know that everybody is your own very Self. Everybody looks different, in the same way you look different, from others. Yet, the real truth is that there are no “others,” we all expressions of one Self, one Spirit. Until that understanding comes and becomes part and parcel of your life, yes, you may get disturbed. You’re a budding yogi, it doesn’t matter. We all make mistakes. That’s how we grow. When you went to walk for the first time as a baby, you fell down many times. You didn’t give up and kept trying until you were able to walk. Just because you got into the Yoga practice, overnight you don’t become a yogi. But you are on the way. Don’t lose your hope by failing a few times. Even if you fail a hundred times, remember, there is a 101st time. Never give up.
