The Thoughts that Arise in Meditation
“Oh my God, it is such a relief to just sit down for a minute.”
“Oh no! There are a million thoughts flying everywhere.”
“All I can think about is all the unfinished stuff on my to-do list.”
“This can’t be right. All I can feel is the pressure to do more.”
“My mind is like fifty televisions playing simultaneously.”
“My nerves hurt. They are just buzzing with fatigue.”
“Ouch, I am soooo tired.” Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
“What time is it?”
“I just felt the muscles in my throat relax – guess I was holding something there.”
“My heart is racing. It’s like I’m nervous to feel what’s in store.”
“That conversation was weird this morning. Why did I respond like that? I could have just said no.”
“Owww . . . it is so uncomfortable to sit here and face my feelings. I think I will just stop meditating right now and check my email.”
“I don’t want to get up. God, I haven’t been this relaxed in days.”
The Movement of Prana in Meditation
In Yoga terminology, there are some great clues to all this. Prana is “the breath of life, vitality, vigor, power.” And prana flows and pulsates. This is the nature of life, which is continually healing itself, renewing its vitality, and making the body ready to engage in action. Yoga texts talk about this dynamic, ever-changing brilliance of prana as composed of five rhythms: prana, apana, samana, udana, and vyana. Think of each word as having a spectrum of the following energies.
Prana – propulsion and momentum.
Apana – the vital force flowing downward and outward, elimination.
Samana – assimilation, absorption, consolidation.
Udana – upward movement, speech, expression.
Vyana – expansiveness, diffusion, free circulation everywhere.
Notice that there is no hint here that you are supposed to calm down, make your mind blank, or suppress the dynamic dance of prana. Rather, when we meditate, we are invited to experience the genius of prana as it dynamically flows through our entire being on all levels and rejuvenates and restores us. In meditation, prana may continually change its energetic tone from propulsion and momentum to elimination, to assimilation and absorption, to expression and expansiveness. These changes often happen by surprise and are almost shocking in how powerful they are.
Pulsations of Prana in Meditation
The first pulsation is action and rest. So we find ourselves alternately feeling active and feeling restful. Everyone likes feeling totally restful and relaxed in meditation. But many find it a challenge to sit there buzzing with excitement – even though this is an equally essential phase of meditation. The next pulsation has to do with what happens when we rest. Our bodies heal up and retune themselves.
So we fluctuate between pleasant restfulness and the painful sensations and emotions that have to do with healing. This tends to happen every few seconds and then every few minutes, over and over. When meditators develop bad habits, the bad habits may often take hold here in the transitions between resting to healing, and resting to feeling excited and active.
Meditation is Pure Improvisation
Meditation is pure improvisation, with the five pranas bouncing off each other. The five pranas are combining, transforming into each other, and activating your instinct to survive and thrive. If you want your practice be healthy, cultivate the attitude of delighting in each phase of prana as it appears. Savor the delight of the breath of life flowing through you, be grateful for each wave, each pulsation, each changing experience. Life is a genius at maintaining itself.
When we meditate in a way that is in tune with our own prana flow, we feel how our power is flowing and where it is stuck. The stuck sensations are uncomfortable. And if we gently attend to them, they usually figure out how to reestablish a healthy flow. Meditation allows everything to get unstuck and circulate.
Think of meditation as an invitation to the dance. The internal dance of the five pranas. Take inspiration from prana, apana, samana, udana, vyana, as the basic rhythm pattern of the dance of life.
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